6 hours ago
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
It has been SO long, I'm not even sure where to start!
So I'll just dive in. I won't bother apologizing for my absence-I feel like that's all I do anymore and you can only say sorry so many times before people start giving up on you.
This post isn't about my writing. It isn't about anything that is inspiring me right now.
It's about loss and acceptance and moving on.
No one has died. But someone is missing. That someone is me.
A lot has happened in a very short time in my life, a lot of little things that are leading up to one huge thing and I'm finding that I have to take a step back and really put things in perspective.
I'm trying to prioritize, to figure out where "I" fit into my own life.
For months, I've been agonizing over telling the right story, over scenes in someone else's life, wondering why nothing was falling into place.
Writing used to be my escape from the real world...but when the real world became overwhelming and built a wall directly in front of my face, I realized that the reason my stories weren't working for me was because I wasn't working for me.
Somewhere along the way, I lost myself in a tangle of confusion, hurt, and betrayal. My eyes have been opened and the scene before me is a heaping pile of rubble that I have to somehow sort through and nothing right now makes sense.
Writing someone else's story has become a burden, a chore. So I'm focusing on myself, writing my own story, to figure out where I went wrong and to find the ladder that will pull me from this awful abyss.
Even reading provides little relief as I work to sort through the mess in my mind.
I don't plan on posting regularly, but I'm going to try to be around more often. This blog has been an inspiration-proof that there are others out there just like me. Strangers that I consider friends.
To all of my followers: I do sincerely apologize for not being around, but I am so thankful that you are still here.
Any words of encouragement are appreciated, any advice welcomed. Maybe a funny story here and there?? :)
And I promise to check in, to show my face on your blogs as often as I can, and to post here, even if it's just to let you all know that I'm alive and well.
I'm confident that when things start to turn around, I will be back and better than ever. It is the light at the end of this very dark tunnel. The good news is that I can see it! I'm almost there.
Thank you again.
I hope everyone is doing well!