The Twelve Days of...Me! Day Three

Can you believe this?? Three days in a row and a blogging record for me!

After a stressful work day and a heap of bad news, I thought about scrapping day three. But I'm determined to keep my promise of twelve days in a row, so here I am.

On the Third Day of Me, I give to you...my writing fears.



Okay, first of all, I'd just like to say that when I googled the word 'fear', a ton of really creepy pictures popped up. Apparently there's a video game with the same title and a super scary little girl(much like the girl from The Ring)on the cover.
Moving on and far away from that nonsense...

I'm sure everyone attempting to break into this business is scared. Even the people who have already been agented or published. There's always that 'what if' feeling in the back of your mind, a clench in your stomach, a lump in your throat.

I am no different. I know I have a talent, it's something I've done since I learned how to write a complete sentence. Writing is who I am, not just something I do. I need it like I need the air I breathe.
And more than anything, I want to be OUT THERE. You know exactly what I mean: to walk into a Barnes and Noble and see my cover on the New Authors shelves(and even better to be mixed in with all the big names!). To sit behind a table while people line up for my autograph, an opportunity to meet the person who wrote the words that touched them.
It is my dream, my biggest dream.

But what if it doesn't happen? I tell myself that this is foolish, if I think positive and work hard, of course it will happen.
But that stupid thing we call fear just creeps right back up, raising goosebumps across my arms and twisting my stomach into a ball of knots.
Sometimes the fear is so great, I wonder what the hell it is I think I'm doing, trying to break into this business!
But I force myself to take a moment and remember why I'm doing this. Because without it, I would not be who I am.
Even without publishing, I would still be a writer. But it wouldn't be my dream.

I'm a pusher. I push everyone I know(and sometimes even people I don't know!)to follow their dreams. There's enough room in this world for every dream to come true. And what a world it would be if more people went after their dreams!

So I wake up every morning with the fear, and I go to bed every night with it as well. But throughout the day, I know that in facing this fear, my dream will eventually come true and it will all be worth it.
I just keep chugging on, working harder and harder.
I will get there, you'll see.
I know I'm good enough. And you know what? You are, too. We're all in this together, facing the fear as partners, as friends. Fear is really just a molehill on this wonderful journey and if we all hold hands, we'll make it through.

Thanks to all my followers and fellow bloggers for being here for the ride. You give me the courage to continue!

What kinds of fears do you face in your writing? What pushes you over that hill to the other side?

The Twelve Days of...Me! Day Two

On the Second Day of Me, I give to you...my first completed work.



How many of you remember the first story you ever wrote? The first time you wrote The End, the first time you ran out of space in that notebook?
I think the first story I ever wrote was called The Lost Kitten and was about a little girl who fought with her best friend. :)
Hopefully, I know a little better now about titles and storylines and the fact that they should, you know, make sense together!
But the first story I ever completed in written form was the story of my own life. My diary.
Reading it tonight, I found this:

"Just think: when I finally finish my diary, I will have completed my first book. It's a cool thought."(Jan. 12, 1996)

Yeah, that was a while ago! But I didn't even start flipping through my diary until I began writing this post. Kind of neat that I have the same idea regarding my first completed book now as I did way back then.

When you think about it, every story you create is a diary of someone's life. You create their world, their life story. You put it down on paper to relive over and over for years to come.
Let's just hope my diary never gets published! Several posts back, I said that I am boy crazy, but the proof in my diary is just ridiculous. Not to mention humiliating. Door shut and locked.

The great thing about my diary is that it shows me how far I've come in my writing while still proving that I have the same passion for words. Reading through the entries brought me right back to that second of my life, and I can clearly recall things I've long since forgotten. What a treat for a Monday night!
The words I poured into my diary are so important to me. They tell me where I've been and where I hoped to be as an adult. Thank goodness I'm not far off.
It might not be a work of fiction(although my imagination would prove otherwise), but I'm so proud to say that it is my first completed story. I've owned other diaries and journals, but I've never stuck to them the way I did that very first one.

I suppose it was just time to move on to someone else's story.

How do you feel when you think about or read the first story you've ever completed? Do you feel pride in the accomplishment? What did it help you to discover about yourself?

The Twelve Days of...Me! Day One

In honor of Christmas and the fact that this year, I am trying to be a lot more selfless I am going to use the next twelve days(yes, I'm going to attempt a post twelve days in a row!)to be selfish and talk about yours truly.




On the first day of Me, I give to you...my inspiration.

I'll start off by saying that this year for Christmas, the only thing I asked for(and the only thing I wanted to buy for my family)was a donation to a charity. A charity of my choice, and nothing more. This did not happen because for some reason, this was considered 'silly' and I am now going to be receiving multiple Barnes and Noble gift cards to help me continue being selfish.
Ahem.
Because of my family's response to what I considered a good gift idea, I have limited my spending on them to twenty-five buckaroos a person. And I spent a few hundred(give or take)on toys for a hospital toy drive and a giving tree in my town. This made me feel much better(not to mention the pleasure of having to drop off the toys at the local fire station where all of the firefighters were very grateful for the donation...and very good looking)about receiving gift cards to help add to my reading addiction.

The biggest bonus of helping a charity? The inspiration I've had from giving to such an amazing cause. It's boosted my Christmas spirit and sparked my creative juices. Which comes in handy when creative juices run dry.
There's nothing like seeing that happy smile when you've made someone's day to push you forward. Nothing.
Someday, I hope to do that for my readers. I hope to inspire them, to make them think and react.

What about you? What is something that inspires you, especially around the holidays?

Pondering Themes

Tell me what kind of books you gravitate toward.
Do you enjoy the ones that are just for fun, a lot of action and drama with no real 'purpose' except to entertain?
Or do you like the ones that have an underlying message? The kind where the main character learns something in the end, something that makes him/her a better person.

I find that I read and write books that have some kind of meaning, something that is important to me and that I want to be important to my readers as well.
Maybe it's because I am so full of advice and I want to get it out there in mass amounts and hope that everyone LISTENS TO ME!!! :)
Or maybe it's because stories that teach you something always seem to inspire me, even if I already live by what is being taught. In that case, it might actually inspire me more.

The picture I found stands for 'believe in yourself'. This is something I preach to everyone who is in need of advice for...well, pretty much anything.
And because I write YA, I believe that this theme falls into play a lot. Who needs to believe in themselves more than teens who are struggling to find a place for themselves in this crazy world?

How about you? Do you have any favorite themes? Or do you just like to read(and write)books that simply entertain and detach yourself from the real world?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Guess what? You will never guess because I am so astonished about this myself...
I picked seven fellow bloggers(some I just discovered, some who just deserved it)to receive the award I won, what, two weeks ago? Geez...
Again, a big thank you to Julie Dao for this award:



To follow the rules:

1. Thank whoever gave this to you
2. Copy award
3. Post it in your blog
4. Tell us 7 things that your readers don’t know
5. Link 7 new bloggers
6. Notify winners of the award with a comment on their blog
7. Keep being awesome!

Already did 1, 2, and 3! Yay!!
As for the seven things about me...

1. I love tea. Hot tea, cold tea...it's wonderful, and in my opionion, fixes everything! Plus, I hoard it like it's going out of style. I have a whole cabinet devoted to all things tea. And now that the Christmas flavors are out, look out! I almost lost it when I saw the display at Walmart. My husband acted like he didn't know me.

2. I used to want to be a professional dancer. Like, a Laker girl(pro cheerleader?). Hey, Paul Abdul did it, so it must be awesome.

3. I think I am the funniest person in the whole wide world. Sometimes I send myself into fits of laughter at random moments, usually causing people to stop and stare, or my coworkers to come into my office to check on me. The funny things always happen in my head.

4. I am terrified of my slow cooker. I realize that this is irrational and that the house most likely will not burn down should I utilize this appliance, but the fear remains.

5. I would much rather watch the teen dramas like 90210 and Vampire Diaries than any 'grown up' shows on TV. This is usually only a problem when someone at work says, 'so and so from this grown up TV show is so sexy' and I'm all, 'yeah, so is Stefan and Liam' and I get this blank expression in return. Kind of embarrassing.

6. I once had a naughty dream about Daniel Radcliffe(you know. Harry Potter.). Which is strange because my fave character is Ron Weasley.

7. I snort when I laugh. This is when I find something extremely funny. Like those funny things I come up with in my head.

And now....for the seven blogs. This, by the way, was extremely difficult for me because most of my free time happens at work and I can't spend all my time on blogger at work! And there are so many deserving. But here are the ones I picked:

1. Anissa at Anissa off the Record.
2. Heather at See Heather Write because the first blog I read of hers was Harry Potter overload and I heart Harry Potter!
3. Jody Hedlund for being such an inspiration.
4. Jemi Fraser at Just Jemi.
5. Carrie Harris.
6. Sara Tribble at I Am Write.
7. Karen Denise Parkville at I'm Always Write because she loves Ron Weasley and I love Ron Weasley...therefore I love Karen.

So there you have it. Yay me! I know, I know, it's about time.
But check out all these great blogs and let them know how awesome you think they are(because they really are!).
And have a Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Me, Myself, and I....or He Said/She Said???

I'd like to start off by saying a HUGE thank you to Julie at Silver Lining for my awesome new award! I'm so excited about it. And I promise, promise, promise that I will complete what is required of me this time...just not tonight as it is eleven o'clock and I have just kicked my back's rear end(possible? Yes, I'm pretty sure of it.)by hands-and-knees scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom floors.
So I'll try to have my blog picks up by the end of this weekend.

Moving on...
I've been thinking a lot lately about POV. I feel as though I've hit a wall in my ms and I think that the POV is the cause of it. For years now, I've been writing in first person with no alternating narrators. It's just my thing.
But one thing I hate about reading books in first person is when the MC is not exactly cheery.
Sometimes I have a hard time liking the MC for this reason. I mean, all you hear is his/her inner turmoil and after a while, it gets tough to read.
I think that is my problem. My MC is going through some rough times and it's kind of depressing me. And the last thing I want to do is depress my readers!

I've also been reading several blogs about the stereotypical 'bad boy' lately. The bad boys always create that exciting, sexy element and they are fun to have around. But the beef is always that bad boys are bad just to be bad. And when you're reading something in first person, how do you really know what's going on in that bad boy's life without the MC constantly around him?

As I get to know my characters more and more, I'm realizing that I don't like not having the 'in' with my male character. I thought about alternating first person viewpoints, but I'm just not feeling it.
So I tried writing a scene in third person, just to see how it flowed for me. And it was great!
Now I think I might go back and change the whole thing to give the 'bad boy'(who's not really bad, just misunderstood)a chance to shine.

First person has always been my choice because I find that it's easier to be funny or to have exaggerated reactions from the MC. After all, everything is a much bigger deal in my own head than it actually is in real life which is how I entertain myself.
But I'm going to trust my gut and attempt this new POV. It will be a lot of work, but I think it will pay off in the end.

What do you think of this? Have you ever changed the POV in the middle of writing a story? Did you like the end result? And which POV do you usually prefer and why?

I'd love to hear everyone's opinions!

In Which I Whine

Ah, yes. It is true. I've been MIA for what seems like forever, but now I'm back, and filled with new writing drama. If it weren't ten in the morning, I would say that the silver lining would be the glass of wine(because every good whine deserves a glass of wine as a reward)at the end of this post....oh well.

Anyway, sorry I've been slacking for a while. I've had office drama, no sleep because my husband snores like a Looney Tunes character and flails about violently for no particular reason, waking me in the process so that I can cover my head for protection(seriously), and thank-goodness-my husband-is-still-alive-drama(he works with heavy machinery and sometimes it's scary), so things have been wearing on me lately.

Commence whining! Oh, wait, you mean I already started in that previous paragraph?? Silly me.

Continue whining!

I was blog surfing yesterday. And I decided to pick one and go back to the beginning, to get to know the blogger and where she came from. In one post she discusses her novel and happens to mention a backstory....um...hello?? Have I met you before, Person-who-wrote-an-almost-identical-backstory-to-my-MC? Because, seriously. The two were so similar, you would have thought that maybe we had been a writing duo at one time and recently decided to go solo but neither of us could decide who got to keep the ideas.
Unfortunately for me, this person has already been agented, and because we appear to write in the same genre, I have to come up with a completely different backstory. Or at least twist mine in some way to make it spectacular on its own.

::Sigh::

My other whine of the day is that my MC's name is the same as another fellow blogger. This is not so bad, as we write in different genres and they don't have the same surname. I don't think. If a name were easy to change, I would do it in a heartbeat, just so I wouldn't feel all copycatty. But it's not easy to change in the least. So, I'm going to keep it.

The bright side to my very whiny Saturday morning? I finally came up with a title for my ms! Or, at least a working title. Now I don't have to open my YA Novel file which has always made me feel a little silly. And now that I have this, I feel a little more pumped about writing it, like I know what I'm shooting for or something. Does that make sense?

So that, in a large nutshell, is what has been weighing on my mind lately. Hopefully by my next post I'll have the glass of wine(except that I usually write these at work which probably wouldn't be a good thing)and no whining to go along with it.

How about you? Have you ever read something that is eerily similar to what you've been pouring your heart and soul into? How did you react?

Have a good weekend, everyone!