O...M...G...I've Done It

It's been four months since I last posted which is completely disgusting.
So I'll just jump in here like I never flaked out on y'all and make my announcement:

I just joined NaNoWriMo.

For the first time.

Ever.

And I'm terrified.




Not terrified like BOO a monster just jumped out of my closet to eat my eyeballs or anything, but terrified because I'm doing this to help myself and to prove to myself that I can accomplish something I've been wanting to do for years.

So I joined today and I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING TO WRITE ABOUT.
Is anyone else in my boat?
If you want to friend me(PLEASE), my username is Jules11.
I'd love to know who all has joined this craziness with me!

I'm looking forward to it even though I usually don't even get home until around 8 every night of the week which means some long nights for me.

So wish me luck and any advice you NaNo experts can give would be much appreciated!

To anyone who has joined or has done it in the past: How did you come up with an idea?
Have any of you ever just jumped into your writing on November 1st with no idea where you would go from there?

Happy Almost November!!!

Today: Begin

Soon, very very soon, this blog will be about my writing again.

But first, I must welcome a new beginning into my life. While things have been almost unbearable for months now, this beginning has me feeling refreshed, relieved, and excited for all of the future's possibilities.
I am going to enter the world alone, a single woman with big dreams and a fresh canvas that I can't wait to decorate in every color of the rainbow.

I'm in the process of looking for an apartment that is near to my work, family, and friends, a place that I can call mine, a place of comfort and familiarity without the confusion and questions I am confidently walking away from.

And the first item I'm purchasing? A new computer. Any advice in the computer department would be helpful...I'm really only looking to use the internet, write, and store some pics and music. And on the cheap side....I am single, after all, and it's an expensive world!

I'm a little nervous about living on my own, but I have visions of endless writing and reading time dancing in my head, especially since I won't have enough money to go out and spend! Which is fine with me....it's something I need to do anyway. For too long now I've been neglecting my writing.
I've kept up with journaling and some things that have really helped me get through this whole ordeal, but if I want to make it out there in the publishing world, I have to work hard. I can't wait!

I've been around, catching up on everyone else's journies, but I've been absent socially. Working on that too!
I hope everyone else has been doing well and hopefully very soon I'll be posting pictures of my new place!
Love to all.

For the Love of....!!!!

Everyone has heard that love conquers all.

And for a while now, I've strongly doubted that. In fact, I've scoffed at the very thought.
But very recently, I made a discovery: Love truly does conquer all. All doubt, all pain, all anger....it will all vanish if true love is there.

When I say this, however, I do not mean that love for someone else will conquer all of the darkness that hurt and betrayal leave behind. Because how can you love someone else before you learn to truly love yourself?

You can't.

I've been going through such a dark period of my life lately...darker than any other I've faced before.
I've given up the two things I love the most in my life: writing and reading. Because taking part in either activity left my brain boggled and my heart aching. I stopped feeling for these things and I knew it wasn't right.
How can the things I love the most leave me so stressed out?

I couldn't concentrate on fiction because I couldn't relate to it anymore. I had so much going on, so much tension in this very real world, the land of make believe no longer held the magic it once had.

The last time I posted here, one person said something that really made me think.

Candace at Candyland left a comment that stated, 'Sometimes the best stories are our own'.

It's not like I haven't heard that before. But when I saw it written before me, in response to everything I had poured into that one post, something clicked.

I was going about my healing process the wrong way. I couldn't use my current WIPs to get me through this. I couldn't escape into a book the way I used to because I couldn't relate.
You must write the story you wish to read.

And what more could I want to read than the outcome of my current situation? What would help me more than writing through my troubles?

Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Because writing is what I am. It's not just a hobby. It's a way of life. A lifeline.
And I finally grabbed hold of that rope. And I'm pulling myself out of the ravine, one word at a time.

Things won't get better as quickly as I'd like. But they will get better. And thanks to one person who helped me open my eyes, I'm going to get there the only way I know how.

I'm sure you're wondering how this ties into love conquering all. Writing is my one true love. It will always be there, will always be a part of me. Writing is a way of loving myself.
It's not selfish. It's self love. And you must must must have self love in order to make it through life happily.

I still doubt the notion that love will conquer all when used in reference to a romantic relationship or an outside relationship at all. There's always going to be dealbreakers.
But love for yourself absolutely will conquer all. Because I love myself, because I am taking the time to do what is right for me, I know that I will come out of this mess a much better person.

I don't plan on trying to publish what I'm working on right now because it's for me, but at least it will give me practice!

I'm slowly but surely making my way back into the blogging world. I don't feel overwhelmed anymore. Thank you to everyone who left a kind comment, to everyone who paused to think of me,even for a second. Your support means the world!

Until next time...

Yeesh!

It has been SO long, I'm not even sure where to start!

So I'll just dive in. I won't bother apologizing for my absence-I feel like that's all I do anymore and you can only say sorry so many times before people start giving up on you.

This post isn't about my writing. It isn't about anything that is inspiring me right now.
It's about loss and acceptance and moving on.
No one has died. But someone is missing. That someone is me.
A lot has happened in a very short time in my life, a lot of little things that are leading up to one huge thing and I'm finding that I have to take a step back and really put things in perspective.

I'm trying to prioritize, to figure out where "I" fit into my own life.

For months, I've been agonizing over telling the right story, over scenes in someone else's life, wondering why nothing was falling into place.
Writing used to be my escape from the real world...but when the real world became overwhelming and built a wall directly in front of my face, I realized that the reason my stories weren't working for me was because I wasn't working for me.

Somewhere along the way, I lost myself in a tangle of confusion, hurt, and betrayal. My eyes have been opened and the scene before me is a heaping pile of rubble that I have to somehow sort through and nothing right now makes sense.

Writing someone else's story has become a burden, a chore. So I'm focusing on myself, writing my own story, to figure out where I went wrong and to find the ladder that will pull me from this awful abyss.
Even reading provides little relief as I work to sort through the mess in my mind.

I don't plan on posting regularly, but I'm going to try to be around more often. This blog has been an inspiration-proof that there are others out there just like me. Strangers that I consider friends.

To all of my followers: I do sincerely apologize for not being around, but I am so thankful that you are still here.

Any words of encouragement are appreciated, any advice welcomed. Maybe a funny story here and there?? :)

And I promise to check in, to show my face on your blogs as often as I can, and to post here, even if it's just to let you all know that I'm alive and well.

I'm confident that when things start to turn around, I will be back and better than ever. It is the light at the end of this very dark tunnel. The good news is that I can see it! I'm almost there.

Thank you again.

I hope everyone is doing well!

In Which Things Fall Into Place

"The most improbable tales can be made believable, if your reader,through his sense, feels certain that he stands at the middle of events."

~Ray Bradbury~




Every once in a while, I have an 'aha!' moment. One of those moments happened the other day.

I've been working on my current WIP for a while now and while I really enjoy the story and the whole theme, I'm just not enjoying writing it. Right now. A post by Debra Schubert at Write On Target kind of made me stop and think. What if I like what I'm writing but I don't love it? Do I put it aside and start something fresh or do I push through this 'down' period?

And that's when I realized I feel trapped by my genre. I write contemporary YA which I love because it has such a real feel to it. But my head keeps wandering to the idea of writing something a little more exciting. A little more adventurous. A little less real.




I've always wanted to try writing fantasy of some sort. Paranormal, that kind of thing. It's what I read mostly, so it makes sense I'd want to try it. But I've always shied away based on the fact that I don't see myself as a true creator of worlds. Changing genres is intimidating and not a choice to be taken lightly, especially when I hope to make a career out of this.

But I'm going to try. I've had an idea rolling around in my head for a long time now, and I think I might have something good going on.
A lot of you have encouraged me to try this in the past, so I'm going to jump in feet first!
Wish me luck.

Have you ever changed genres? Have you ever felt trapped by something you're writing? What have you done to change this?

Sunshine and Happiness!

I'll start off by saying hi! It's been a while. I try to get on everyday and read everyone's posts, and I try to comment as often as possible, but sometimes I suck at that.

But for some reason, people around here still like me and I love you for that! The other day, I received an award from the always amazing Jemi Fraser in spite of the fact that I feel I don't deserve it. So thank you so much, Jemi, for this spectacular and sunshiney award!



I'm going to award this to a few people whose blogs I stalk regularly. I don't care whether they already have it or not, these people inspire me and create the sunshine in my world.
Since I can't re-award it to Jemi, which I totally would if I could, I pass it on to the following:

1. Melissa at Chasing the Dream
2. Julie at Silver Lining
3. Sara at The Babbling Flow of a Fledgling Scribbler
4. Lisa at Confessions of a Writing Mama
5. Natalie at Natalie Bahm
6. Victoria
7. Tina at Sweet Niblets
These ladies always brighten my day, and I'm sure they'll do the same for you.

Stay tuned for my 'official' post!

A Deeper Look

First things first: be sure to check out the Whoops! Blogfest today! Click the link to see everyone who has entered. I, unfortunately, missed another one! So I won't be participating unless I can come up with something at the drop of a hat...and I doubt it right now.

Also be sure to sign up for Simon's first hosted blogfest: The PG Love Scene Blogfest!! This is going to be a challenge, but one that I will gladly take on. I can't wait to read everyone's entries!

One thing I think we, as writers, always strive to do is learn as much about our characters as possible before writing their stories.
But once you get past the basics(name, hair color, eye color, etc.), how do you know what you need to know?

We all know the rule: know as much as you can, even the information you won't necessarily include in the story itself. Because the more you know, the more your character will come alive. When you know that your character hates to read, you probably won't find him or her meeting friends at the local bookstore, or studying in the library. You probably wouldn't find him or her studying much at all.

Knowing as much background as you can will help you decide how your character will react to every situation that arises in the story. This is so important, and can make or break your story.

While I was struggling to come up with something, anything! to write this weekend, I realized that I was stuck because I had no idea who my characters were and where they came from. I have their quirks, their basic characteristics, but I never got down to the nitty gritty details.

So I decided I needed to find a way to dig into their pasts. But which questions do I ask? Then I remembered something a friend of mine gave me several years ago: she had received a book from her mom called All About Me by Philip Keel. Inspired by the insight it provided about herself, she made a rough copy of the book for me.
I pulled the copy off my bookshelf and immediately set to work. It asks all the basic questions, but then enters a whole new level of thought provoking questions. Do you believe in God? Do you believe in reincarnation? What kind of secrets do you have that your closest friends would be shocked to discover?
And suddenly, I began to know more about my main characters than I ever thought possible.
There are so many questions in this book! And while I think it's a little much to answer the entire thing for every character you create, it's such a good tool. So check it out! I really think it would be worth your while.
I'm so happy I remembered it. No longer is that book collecting dust on the shelf.

And as a fun side note, here's two things about my main characters that I feel help describe them(and they'd never be caught without these things):



This is Brian's newsboy cap. He wears it everywhere, partly to cover his mass of curls, and partly because he thinks it looks cool. I think that it shows his old fashioned side which pretty much wraps up his personality.



This is Paige's necklace(but the diamond in hers is pink!). She received it from her mother for her eighteenth birthday and it is her most prized possession. It's perfect for her because she is such a girly girl and the horseshoe signifies the luck she's going to need to get through everything I'm going to put her through.

I'm thinking next time, I'll post the actors I have picked to play their parts!(Because this is so getting made into a movie, dontcha know.)

How about you? How do you get to know your characters? Is there any one object that can perfectly describe them?