Making Time

I should just warn you up front...a lot of my posts are going to be about my kid and working around babyland.  Sorry...but not sorry.  Welcome to my new life!

When I first had Ava, I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of motherhood.  I didn't know how to control anything anymore, and I felt lost as an individual.  Don't get me wrong, I DID enjoy the frustrations of getting to know my awesome little girl, but for someone trying to make a living from home in the short time maternity leave allows, I thought more about what I WASN'T getting done in my money-making world.

I had been looking forward to a 'break' from a job that was suffocating me, and finding time to get back into my writing again.  Which unicorn did I fall off??
There was no time for myself.  I had no time to make a living.  And I definitely had no time to write anymore.  In fact, I had less time than I did before I had a baby.  Sixty hours a week in a stifling cubicle to a 24/7 mom gig had me in a state of panic.

I was sure I was going to lose myself amongst the spit-up, diapers, and constant feedings.  And naps?  They don't exist.  Who needs sleep?  Not my kid.  Or me, apparently.

But one day, I had had enough of this way of thinking.  I certainly wasn't the only mom dealing with lack of time to make a living doing what I love.  There are moms who have full time jobs, two jobs, no support systems, and they somehow find a way to write books and knit cute little hats and create, create, create!

Why couldn't I?

So I did the first thing I could think of to help me along the way.

I turned on my computer.  I opened a fresh word document.

And every time Ava would close her eyes for more than one minute, I wrote.

Yes, it's going to take a while.  But at least I know I'm trying, and slowly but surely, my pages will build. 
My maternity leave is almost over, and I'm trying like hell to figure out a way to be a mom working from home, but I'm confident.

I'll make the time to get it done.

Any working moms(or dads)out there struggling to be everything?
What have you done to pave your way?

In Which I Return

It has been almost exactly three years(THREE)since my fingers have typed a single word in a blog post.

Obviously, a million life changing events have taken place in those three years, but I am not going to bore anyone with the details, except....

I was blessed with this little squash, my Ava Rayne, on April 2nd of this year. 

Before she was born, I knew I owed it to both myself and my daughter to make a solid attempt at having a true career that would make me happy and allow me to raise her the way I always dreamed.

This blog has been stale for three years because I have been stale for three years.  It just wasn't my time, I suppose, to be the person I wanted to be.  It sounds silly, I know, but in those few years, I was able to sow some wild oats, become a stronger person, decide what I wanted out of life, and now I am going after it full force.

I hope to keep blogging here about my writing.  I expect it to make a comeback with some fresh ideas, some do-overs, and some revisions of lost loves.
Somewhat officially, I can also be found over at Ava Ever After , where I will be preaching and teaching others that you CAN have it all.  The blog is still in the works, but I hope to have it up and fully running in a few days.  Stop by when you have the chance!

I truly hope to reconnect with a few familiar writing friends, and I look forward to catching up with the blogosphere!

Tell Me, MAYbe...

What is your LEAST favorite part of the writing process, and WHY?  First drafts?  Revisions?  Submissions?

Mine is definitely that first draft.  Getting something down that I feel even remotely confident about has been a chore lately...and it's something I'm working on each day! 

How hard is it to bare your soul??

Exactly.

How I Write

I'm a little behind...(7 posts, according to someone), but I have a good excuse!  I'm sick. And I've been resting!  So there.

Anyway, in case you're not caught up on what's happening here lately, I'm participating in the Blog Me MAYbe blogfest happening around the blogosphere, which you can check out by clicking on the linky in the sidebar.
Tuesdays are always a good time because I can talk about myself, and let's be honest-who doesn't like to talk about how awesome they are??  ;)

I've been trying to be more disciplined in my writing schedule, which has a strict 8:30-10:30 time slot in my day, after work and the gym.

Well. 

What actually happens between the time when inspiration strikes and words are recorded on the frighteningly empty Word document is this:

Sitting in traffic....thinking about nothing but how much I hate traffic...

Hey, I should write a story about TRAFFIC!  I KNOW all about traffic, and there are so many story possibilities...

Spend the next week staring at pictures of traffic on Pinterest and We Heart It while the plotline forms in my brain...

Wouldn't it be a great idea if traffic didn't want to BE traffic anymore and instead wanted to try to be an open road??

Spend the next week downloading and Google stalking songs about traffic and the open road....

I need a really good makeout scene.

Spend the next two days searching for pictures of people making out in traffic or on the open road...

Stare at the blank computer screen, fingers poised.

Oh, hey, someone posted a video on my Facebook wall!  Let's watch.

Oh, hey, I forgot to find tickets to that one show...

Oh, hey, I need a new shirt for that night at the bar that's like every other night at the bar. 

I'm STARVING.  Let's make some popcorn.

Wine!  Why didn't I buy wine?  Wine always helps me write. 

Coffee sounds amazing.  Hey, Dunkin, how's it going?

The new Vampire Diaries is on???  Hold up, skipping is NOT an option.

Spend the next week daydreaming about traffic while sitting in traffic.

Word document?  Blank.


Sigh...

Unfortunately, this is how it's been lately.

I need some inspiration, people!  I guess I should go find me some wine...

Of Course There's Harry Potter

In today's edition of 'Let's Talk About Me', I thought I'd share with you the top 5 books and movies which help push me to be the best writer I can be.  In no particular order:

Books

1. Harry Potter 1-7.  I was forced to read The Sorcerer's Stone for my Children's Lit class in college(at the time I was very anti-fantasy)and I canNOT thank that professor enough.  No book(or series)has inspired me more. 

2.  A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.  Also, Great Expectations!  They were the first classic novels I fell in love with and the reason my obsession with all things England began. 

3.  The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.  Okay, this was my first stab at fantasy, so I guess I can't say I hated it...I adored this book as a child and today the movies are part of my beloved collection(And Ben Barnes as Prince Caspian??  Yes please.).

4. Twilight.  Just the first book.  And yes, I realize the writing wasn't all that stellar, but the passion was.  And I would love to create a characters with as much passion as this crew has!

5.  Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins.  A fellow blogger, I knew I liked Stephanie and her writing long before she was published, and she never disappoints.  Her characters are real and charming, and the setting is just as much a character as the people are.  She is a huge inspiration to me. 


Movies

1.  Ever After.  I'm a sucker for a good fairy tale, and the Cinderella in this story was strong and determined.  One of my all time favorite movies!

2.  Alice In Wonderland.  When this movie ended, I wanted nothing more than to run home(or back to my hotel room, as it was)and spend every waking moment in front of my computer, creating my own masterpiece.  If you haven't seen it, you should.  Every second was magical.

3.  Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.  Don't laugh.  This movie made me believe.  It also possessed one of the single greatest quotes I have ever heard:  'Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.'  Well said, Mr. Magorium.

4.  Penelope.  A curse, a lesson, and true love(both self and James McEvoy.  Come on, now.). 

5.  Harry Potter 1-7.  Did you really think these wouldn't be on this list???  Speaks for itself. 


Which books and movies inspire you the most?

Overcoming Fear

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

I had some trouble coming up with a topic for today's post...not because I don't have anything writing related to talk about, but because I just don't know where I stand with my writing at the moment.

It took a while to realize what my issue is, and then it hit me...fear.  I've discussed it before and received incredible encouragement from everyone here, but the fact remains:  I am afraid.

I don't doubt my writing-sometimes even the bad days read pretty well when I go back with a fresh eye.  It's more of an 'I'm terrified of the rest of the world reading into my soul' type thing.  I'm afraid of that rejection.

I've had something on my mind for months now, but I knew it would require action on my part in order for anything to come of it.  But as outgoing as I am, there are just some things I can never make myself do because I'm too afraid of the outcome.  In order to protect myself from the worst, I push away any hope for the best.

Two weeks ago, I made a decision.  Life is way too short to be so afraid of the possibility of happiness.  This past Friday, I shoved my fear aside, acted before I could talk myself out of it...and succeeded.  I haven't felt so amazing in YEARS.  I can't stop smiling! 

In my opinion, writing should be this way, too.  What do I have to fear?  If I keep holding myself back, I will never know if I have what it takes to conquer such a silly little thing(in the big scheme of things).
This must change. 
From here on out, I vow to be more confident in my writing and in myself.  There is nothing to fear in a blank page, a full imagination, and a story to tell. 
See that word count on the right side of the screen?  That number is going to go up.  And someday, you will all get to see into my soul...

What do you have to do in order to overcome your fears? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAY I Share Something Funny?

Thanks for the comments on yesterday's post about my sister!  It must have been good because she received a phone call for her first special order!
Not only does this mean she's making money doing something she loves, it also means I get to tag along on a road trip to find the subject of the assignment! 

Today, I'm going to share a few things that crack me up.  I'm easily amused, so I hope you're not rolling your eyes *too* much at what I'm going to post!

I don't know about you, but I cannot stop laughing everytime I read this

I love this chick.  And this video?  YES.  Wait, only me??

And from my Pinterest...

This was the funnest post.  I laughed.  A lot.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!