Thwarted!!

I have been slacking. Hugetime. On everything.

Do you ever feel like everything you try to accomplish is thwarted by something you feel you have no control over?

Let's use writing as a starting example.
There is only one working computer in my house which means that I have to 'share' my computer time with my husband who has a severe internet addiction.
Sometimes I find myself sitting on the couch across the room from him, trying to force him off using the awesome powers of mind control. This, unfortunately, does not work in my favor.
I have very little time in the evenings to get any work accomplished after I take care of my 'nightly duties'. You're probably reading this, thinking, 'get your husband to help with the duties'. And I, in turn, am laughing at you.

I try to work around this problem by working on my ms at work...while I'm being paid to, you know, work. Most of the time, this is no problem and I keep my focus fairly well amidst the noise of a car dealership. But when I'm busy doing the work I'm actually being paid to do, writing has to take a backseat. Sometimes for days.

I wish I could stay up all night and get things done, but I just can't! How do you all do it??? How, I ask you?

Another thwarted attempt: commenting! It is SO frustrating to read someone's blog at work, leave a comment because I 'totally get what this person is saying', only to find out that I CAN'T LEAVE COMMENTS!!!! My work has blocked me from this. Which means I must do my blog reading at home, at night, when I'm done standing in line for my computer. Which in turn means I don't get to comment on anything. Because when I finally do get to use the computer, I have to use it to get my work done!

Aargh!!!

How I wish I had an Easy Button to press whenever I am overwhelmed. It seems to happen so often.

So I ask you, how do you make time for your writing when it seems like every opportunity you have to get something done is thwarted? How do you make writing a priority over other things?

Ugh, even this post took me a couple hours to finish and it doesn't even make sense when I read it over! Today is a Julie-needs-help day.

The Envelope, Please

Just a little blog surfing tonight.
Then suddenly, "oh, my gosh, it's my name underneath an AWARD!!"
::Bouncing on couch commences::

Thank you, so much, to Melane at Chasing the Dream for presenting me with my very first blog award!

This means so much to me, especially in a community that still somewhat scares the crap out of me. I'm working on this, I swear!

The winners are hard to choose, so let me mull this one over and I'll come back to it.

As for the seven things you don't know about me...well, this could take all night, seeing as how I'm still new to you. But we'll try it anyway.

1. I love Britney Spears(oh, no, was that a good one to start with? Will you all stop reading my blog now???)

2. My dream vacation is London.

3. I am completely boy crazy(yes, I am married, but this is totally innocent).

4. I hate movies in which an animal dies or is hurt or neglected, etc, etc.

5. I make KILLER chocolate chip cookies and refuse to share my secret.

6. My biggest regret is having never gone away to college.

7. I still watch Saturday morning cartoons(even if the good ones are hard to come by).

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have seven winners for all of you to check out.

And thanks again, Melane, for this awesome award! I can't even begin to describe this ego boost.

Facing the Fear

I read a post the other day that seemed to hit home moreso than any other post I've read in a while. Here's the original post.

If you don't want to click on the link, I'll just tell you that the entry is about 'coming out of the closet'. To be a successful author anymore, you can't just submit a manuscript and collect payment. You have to build up a network, expose yourself to the world...to anyone who will listen.
And everyone knows that writing is extremely personal.

I have no trouble at all proclaiming my desire to be a published writer. When talking to friends and even sometimes strangers, I have no problem changing my job title from 'biller for a car dealership and I hate my job' to 'writer'.
But when they ask, 'What are you working on?', I wave off the question with a casual, 'Oh, nothing. Just a fiction novel'.

When in fact, it's so much more. It's my life. It's my passion. My dream that I'm trying my hardest to realize.
Why do I try to pass it off as nothing? My little sister is an amazing artist with oodles of money-making potential and she has no problem displaying her work for all the world to see.
But I shut myself away and hope that people forget I ever said I was a writer.

What, I ask, is up with that!?

Sharing such a huge part of my soul is a scary thing, but I know that it is something I must do.
That is why I started this blog.

I knew I needed to get myself out there, find some support, people to follow me. So I did.
Then the other day, I opened my email and there were comments, COMMENTS! from people, perfect strangers who took the time to read something I wrote. I felt my cheeks burning as I read, both from embarrassment that someone actually took notice and from the adrenaline rush I got from realizing this.
It was a strange feeling, scary and liberating all at once.
And when I logged onto blogger and saw that I had followers, FOLLOWERS!!!! I almost cried.
What an awesome feeling, to share something so personal with other people going through the same things.

Hopefully this will help me overcome my fear of 'outing' myself. It's working so far, and I've gone so far as to include my blog in my email signature, getting my name out to friends, family, and business associates.
And the next time someone asks me what I'm working on, I'm going to try to show a little more enthusiasm for the work I love and yours truly.

Thanks for reading!

The Next Peak

I have my idea.
I have my two main characters, Evie and Josh. I love them and they don't even have life yet.
I have a town and the conflict.

I don't have an opening line.

If I don't have an opening line, I have nothing. My idea is shot without that killer opener, the line that decides the fate of my story. If it's not perfect, it will be passed by.
How many times have you opened a book(after first judging it by its cover, of course)to check out that first line, to hear the voice of the narrator, to see if you can feel the emotion right away? How many times have you put the book down because the first line of the first chapter did not draw you in?

"Once upon a time..."
"It was a dark and stormy night..."
"To be or not to be..."

That, essentially, is the question.

How do you come up with the perfect first line? Do you use dialogue? Do you start with a memory? A dream? Just before the action? In the middle of the action? Do you start at the end?

There are so many questions to ask when coming up with an opening line. And until I have that, how can I move on? How can I create a world for these two characters I already love if I don't know how they begin?

It's driving me crazy!!!

Back to the thinking board...