Tuesday, December 27, 2011

On My Mind...

What an amazing weekend!  After posting my story on Friday, I received compliments from a ton of people who were astounded by the story...and plenty more who kept repeating, 'you should be a writer'.

In answer to them...I'm trying!  Someday, I PROMISE, I will be on a bookshelf at Barnes and Noble.  It's a promise to myself.  One I will keep.

The most important thing that came from that story, however...is that it helped people.  People who are hurting, people who can't move on.  I've recieved messages from family and friends who have shared it with others, people I've never even met...and it's helped them heal, helped them find hope again.

That?  Is exactly what I've always wanted to accomplish with my writing.  I write for myself, of course, but along the way, if I can touch someone who is reaching out...my job is done.  I consider that a success in itself.  I don't have to be famous.  My words matter to someone.

I'm not alone in this process.  Someday, I will have a dedication inside the front and back cover of a story that's all my own, but it will mean nothing without the people who helped me get there.  You know who you are.  I am endlessly grateful for your words of encouragement and inspiration.  My writing friends, even though I've never met you...you are family.  To my family and friends, soon enough, you will see. 

It starts now.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas(My entire family is sick with either a cold or the flu...touche, Santa.)! 

Don't forget to sign up for the No Kiss Blogfest hosted by Frankie on January 2nd!  Third annual! Can't miss it!

What do you hope to accomplish with your writing?  Is it strictly for you?  Or do you write for something greater?  I would love to hear...

Friday, December 23, 2011

* Believe *

'Angels deliver fate to our doorstep' -Jessi Lane Adams

Coincidence or a miracle?  You decide...

My dad was the one you averted your eyes from.
He was the one who made you clutch your purse tight against your body, grasp your children's hands tighter.
He was the one you crossed the street to stay away from, the one you pretended didn't exist.
My dad endured stones being thrown at him, literally, simply for breathing the same air as the 'better' people.

My dad was homeless. 

For my entire adult life, I had no idea where he was, if he was alive or dead, warm or cold...safe or in danger.

Four years ago yesterday, I was called to the hospital where I said my final goodbye, where I held his hand, told him I loved him, and felt him squeeze mine back, the slightest of pressure but SO real...he died the following day, the 23rd.  Today.
I never truly moved on.

This year has been more than trying for me.  While I'm much happier than I was last year, the struggles I've had to wade through have seemed catastrophic and impossible at times.  In April, I lost my job after 12 years of dedicated service because of someone else's dishonesty.  In July, I had to find a new place to live because I could no longer afford my apartment based on unemployment.  I had nowhere to go but backwards, and I was determined to stay afloat unless living in a box was my only other option.

Then I met Christine.  She is a bartender at the bar I 'frequent', but we'd never spoken on a personal level.  She barely even knew my drink order.  One night, Christine was at the same bar where I was with friends.  Her own friends had just ditched her and she spent the night depressed and angry.  Somehow, we started talking and I learned that she needed a roommate to keep up with her mortgage.  I expressed my need for a room and by the end of the night, it was settled.  I was set to move in as soon as my lease was up the next month.

We have lived together since, but never really got into the nitty gritty of our pasts.  Then one night, we began to share.  I opened up, told her about my father and how I had to grow up earlier than most.
Her first question was, 'He wasn't homeless around Joliet, was he?'.
Yes.  He was.  She asked his name, and when I told her(Frank), she didn't recognize it.

Then she told me about the homeless men who would come into the bar for free drinks most of the bartenders would hand out.  How she never gave them free liquor, only free food. 
She mentioned one man, a man the whole bar knew as 'the dirty hippie', and how she could sense something different, more trustworthy in him. 
After a while, this man became her friend, a confidant.  She drove him to the store, brought him food and blankets where she knew he was staying, allowed him to sit in her warm car on cold winter nights.  She expressed how she longed to invite him into her home, give him a warm bed and a hot shower so that he wouldn't have to suffer in the cold, but couldn't because, after all, who knew who this man really was?

I was struck by my roommate's kindness.  How many people would do this for a homeless person?  Not many at all.  I'd always wondered if my own father had been greeted with such compassion.

She told me that this man had saved her life one Christmas.  She'd been in a dark place with her own family, her own father.  And this man shared his story with her, the story of his family, of his daughters he'd left behind.  He told her that fathers made mistakes, but she needed to understand that hers loved her, the same as he loved his own family.  Then he hugged her and promised her that she mattered.  She never saw him again.

Christine began describing this man...dirty, with longish graying hair, a chip in his front tooth...

"My dad had a chip in his front tooth," I interrupted, astonished.  But really, this couldn't be that uncommon, right?  Lots of people had chips in their teeth.  Especially alcoholics who were prone to falling down and having accidents.  It happened.

But just to see, Christine sent a text message to a former bartender, a guy who worked there at the same time.  She asked who the homeless man they called the dirty hippie was, did he remember his name?

His reply came in one word:  'Frank'.

This homeless man who saved Christine's life, this man who lived across the street from the very place I was working, this man who was a mystery to me....he was my father.

Today, my dad's ashes are in an urn in my bedroom.  I keep him with me because for the first time since his downhill turn, I know where he is.  I never have to wonder again if he's cold or hungry or hurting.  He is in my care and that is exactly where I've always needed him to be.  With me.

My father's ashes are in Christine's house, exactly where she wanted him to be, in a warm home where she knew he was safe and taken care of.  A stranger's compassion a surreal reality, four years later.

It's as if he's here right now, making sure I'm taken care of, helping me along this rocky path.  I'm convinced he is the reason Christine and I met that night. 
Everything happens for a reason...I was meant to meet Christine because she was the one person who showed my father that no matter what, he was important. 

My father saved someone's life days before he lost his own.

Now he's saving mine.

I've never been a terribly religious person.  I believe in God, I couldn't imagine making it through a day without some kind of Christian music flowing through my speakers in the car, and I pray often, but I don't attend church and I don't preach.  I just believe.
But I can't imagine how anyone could not believe in SOMETHING besides coincidence after this. 
There is no way that's what this is. 

What else could it be?

This is, without a doubt, the greatest Christmas gift I have ever received.  I now know that someone cared for my father, that someone gave him the kindness he needed...even if he wasn't father of the year.  I'm now convinced he lived across the street from my work because it was the closest he could be to me.  He was there and I never knew.

I owe so much to Christine.  I only hope that she knows how much she really DOES matter.

Whether you believe in God and miracles, or nothing at all, I hope that this story helps you realize how important the people in your lives are.  Never waste a day with them...tell them you love them. 

And never EVER write a person off as worthless.

You never know when they might be an angel in disguise.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

And to my father, Frank Kuiken...you were always meant to be an angel.  RIP.

Monday, December 19, 2011

~*~ Special Invitation ~*~

I'm still making my way around to all of the Deja Vu Blogfest entries since my computer isn't very Julie-friendly lately...
And I just wanted to invite y'all to stop by this Friday, the 23rd, for an extra special post.  If you want a Christmas story, I have the ultimate. 

I'll be linking to it through Facebook as well, so if you want a reminder, just friend me!  I never turn down blogging friends.  :)

Hope to see you on Friday!

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Deja Vu Blogfest!

Today is the Deja Vu Blogfest, in which everyone participating has to choose a former post to REpost.  Check out all the entries, there are TONS!

The following is a post I wrote last year when I was at my worst(at THAT point...yeah).  I was going through a horrible time and my friends here were such a huge help.  I love you all for everything you've ever said or done....you're all an inspiration.



For the Love of....!!!!

Everyone has heard that love conquers all.

And for a while now, I've strongly doubted that. In fact, I've scoffed at the very thought.
But very recently, I made a discovery: Love truly does conquer all. All doubt, all pain, all anger....it will all vanish if true love is there.

When I say this, however, I do not mean that love for someone else will conquer all of the darkness that hurt and betrayal leave behind. Because how can you love someone else before you learn to truly love yourself?

You can't.

I've been going through such a dark period of my life lately...darker than any other I've faced before.
I've given up the two things I love the most in my life: writing and reading. Because taking part in either activity left my brain boggled and my heart aching. I stopped feeling for these things and I knew it wasn't right.
How can the things I love the most leave me so stressed out?

I couldn't concentrate on fiction because I couldn't relate to it anymore. I had so much going on, so much tension in this very real world, the land of make believe no longer held the magic it once had.

The last time I posted here, one person said something that really made me think.

Candace at Candyland left a comment that stated, 'Sometimes the best stories are our own'.

It's not like I haven't heard that before. But when I saw it written before me, in response to everything I had poured into that one post, something clicked.

I was going about my healing process the wrong way. I couldn't use my current WIPs to get me through this. I couldn't escape into a book the way I used to because I couldn't relate.
You must write the story you wish to read.

And what more could I want to read than the outcome of my current situation? What would help me more than writing through my troubles?

Absolutely nothing.
Because writing is what I am. It's not just a hobby. It's a way of life. A lifeline.
And I finally grabbed hold of that rope. And I'm pulling myself out of the ravine, one word at a time.

Things won't get better as quickly as I'd like. But they will get better. And thanks to one person who helped me open my eyes, I'm going to get there the only way I know how.

I'm sure you're wondering how this ties into love conquering all. Writing is my one true love. It will always be there, will always be a part of me. Writing is a way of loving myself.
It's not selfish. It's self love. And you must must must have self love in order to make it through life happily.

I still doubt the notion that love will conquer all when used in reference to a romantic relationship or an outside relationship at all. There's always going to be dealbreakers.
But love for yourself absolutely will conquer all. Because I love myself, because I am taking the time to do what is right for me, I know that I will come out of this mess a much better person.

I don't plan on trying to publish what I'm working on right now because it's for me, but at least it will give me practice!

I'm slowly but surely making my way back into the blogging world. I don't feel overwhelmed anymore. Thank you to everyone who left a kind comment, to everyone who paused to think of me,even for a second. Your support means the world!

Until next time...

Monday, December 12, 2011

Yay For Exciting Things!

My first order of business when rejoining the blogging world was to go in search of blogfests, something to get me back out there. Of course, I knew that the 3rd annual No Kiss Blogfest was coming up on January 2nd, just like always and it's my absolute FAVORITE. Everyone should run over and sign up right away because it's just the best.
I also joined the Deja Vu Blogfest on December 16th, which means I'll be rereading all of my old posts. Could be fun! I can't wait to see what everyone chooses for this!

I'm really enjoying getting back into the swing of things, checking out what I've been missing and getting to know the writing world again. It's inspired me to write as much and as often as I'm physically able to. I can't wait to get started!

Are any of you joining blogfests? Which ones?

Monday, December 5, 2011

Well...Here We Go Again

I don't know how many posts I can begin with 'sorry I've been absent for so long'. I can't even imagine how irrelevant people must find my blog anymore. I would.
I'm going to try.
So much has happened over the past few months-some good, some bad, some horrible, some amazing.

If anyone is willing to come around after so long, I even have a story to share around Christmas that will hopefully inspire you as much as it's inspired me.

I'll try to stick to a schedule...once a week, most likely Monday since I'm off work(yay for getting a job! More later), and then I'll go from there.
The truth is, I miss all of you! My blogging friends feel like real life friends and I hate being away.

I feel as though I'm starting a new chapter of my life and writing is a massively huge part of it. So at least I'll have something to say! ;)

Just wanted to say hi, and let you know I'm around. Hope everyone is well and I can't wait to hear from you again!

Monday, August 22, 2011


....I have a secret....

I've found THE ONE. You know...the one who makes your heart flutter with that feeling of magic...

I fall asleep with this One on my mind and think of this One each and every morning, first thing. I dream about our future together, about the happiness I know we'll have because, well, this is just IT.

My appetite is failing me(which is good, actually ;)

I've actually stayed in on several occasions to spend hours staring into bright eyes full of promise and meaning. Sometimes I don't even get out of bed.

To say this is an obsession is an understatement. This relationship is all-consuming. It is unique. It is beautiful.

It is perfect.

I've never fallen so into my writing as I have been over the past several weeks.
This feeling is something I've never experience before and it is by far the best in existence. Nothing has ever topped the euphoria of finding THE ONE.

What did you think I meant!?? Hahaha.

I've had the title for years. I just didn't have the story. Weird, right?
And then one night, I had this dream.
And then I saw this movie.
And then I logged onto Facebook and saw this post.

All of which I'll talk about later.

Let's just say all of these things were overwhelming and screamed in my face...and I got the hint.
I've hardly done anything but write since.

All I have to say???

I've been waiting for this.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Writerly Distractions


Just because it's super funny.

Because I challenged a guy to a synchronized dance session the next time I saw him and have spent all my time memorizing these ultra-challenging dance moves(the running man?? Hell yeah.).

Also, I read 2 full books in 1 day, cleaned my whole apartment because I had a date, and made brownies. They were yummy.

Anyone else have something to distract me??

Friday, July 15, 2011


The past three months have been really tough for me. I lost my job, I'm still dealing with a certain ex which makes him feel like a current, not an ex, and I need to find a roommate and move so that I can afford to get by.

Things aren't cool.

I've never been out of work before, and I've worked for the same company for such a long time, I'm afraid I won't be able to find a job doing anything but that which I hate.
The worst is applying for job after job and receiving no response. Then suddenly, this week, the only response I've gotten is 'thanks for your application but you're not the right fit for us'.
It's completely disheartening and my stomach lurches everytime I open one of those emails.
It occurs to me that this is good practice for when I start querying(this year), so I'm glad to build a thick skin. But on the other hand, my survival relies on the 'we want you' email or phone call. I NEED this.

In the meantime, I'm trying my hardest to be disciplined with my writing but all of this job hunting has me feeling seriously discouraged and I'd rather sleep a few extra hours.

The good news(because there must always be good news after the bad)is that I spent the past two days doing things that are inspiring to me. Today, even after a rejection email, I feel that someday I will touch people the way I've been touched this week.
Want to know what I did??? Of course you do!!!

Went to see Josh Groban!!!

He always puts on an amazing show and I had so much fun! Also, I converted a friend into a Grobanite which is all sorts of awesome. Even better, he explained the meaning behind one of his songs and it was like he'd written it for me. Here it is:


Also, here's me with my ticket. I was THAT excited.

And THEN!!!

I went to the Harry Potter 7 double feature last night with my two girlfriends. I was crying at the opening credits of the new movie. Also, I converted that same friend into a Potterhead.

Seeing this movie kind of felt like saying goodbye forever to my best friend. Everything fell into place, I was happy to see my favorite characters in the world, but when it was over, I felt empty inside. Is that weird? Almost like there was this void that could never be filled because it was just done. I can't believe it's all over! And I'll never see Ron Weasley again.

Super sad face. :(:(

BUT. Even through the emptiness, I still had that inspiration tugging at me, and I spent this morning thinking that someday, I WILL touch people the way I have been touched by these things.
I can't live in this hole forever, waiting for the day something will fall into my lap. I have to make it happen. I have to be Anti-Me.
Starting today.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

What I Should Be Doing At 1:35 AM...

...Is sleeping soundly.  
Not.  Happening.
I was going to post a review of this AMAZING book I just finished last night except that I may have had a glass(bottle)of wine and cannot currently form a coherent sentence to save my life.  And I have all these quotes I want to find to further emphasize the AMAZINGNESS of the book I just finished so I need to do that when the words aren't dancing across the page before my eyes.  Weird that I can still type this, I know...
A couple of other things.  
It occurs to me that perhaps my lack of discipline has something to do with this:

This?  Is my workspace.  Everyone has posted a picture of their workspace, and now I'm posting mine.  
Please, let me elaborate on the items in said workspace:
1. The AMAZING book I just finished, which I will review when I am fully sober and full of AMAZING quotes.
2. The 3 books I started reading today, all at once, stacked one on top of the other for my viewing pleasure.
3. 2 drinks to fulfill my inability to commit to any one thing in my life.  A glass of wine and a bottle of water.  (I understand that this actually makes sense, but an hour ago, a cup of hot tea also sat beside the computer)
4. Earbuds, memory sticks, cough drops, chapstick, ibuprofen, CDs, the Target bag which earlier tonight held my new book and new movie, pens, makeup, remote controls, a notebook and sticky notes for my storyboard(not pictured).
5. Yummy smelling candle because I'm pretty sure something has died in my refrigerator except that I can't find it and I can't very well smell EVERYTHING in the fridge because what happens if I find the source of the dead smelling thing and it's so horrendous I actually barf which I am NOT cool with, so I just light candles in every room on the nights I take things out of the refrigerator.
6. My cell phone in case a boy calls.  ;)  Or just anyone calls.  Because I've given up on men.(Boys)
7. Perhaps the most important, my laptop, where I create things that I am not disciplined enough to finish.  :\
8. My floor cushion.  This cushion, believe it or not, boys, is NOT a cat bed.  I can't even begin to tell you how many boys think I store a cat bed beside my coffee table(yes, it's a huge clock, yes it works)which, you know, totally makes sense since I have NO cat.  This is where I park my behind when the discipline takes hold.
I hope you enjoy my workspace.  Because I do.  Even though my butt falls asleep after about 20 minutes and the TV is perfectly situated right above the computer for maximum viewing, and I don't have much space for my multiple beverages and I'm always afraid I'm going to spill on my computer...
Stay tuned for my review of the AMAZING book I just finished.  I believe I'm a little behind on its release date, but please, people, let's keep in mind that I'm UNEMPLOYED and looking for a sugar daddy and can't always keep up on the awesome books out there.  But I'm trying.
And if you know of any sugar daddies...well.
Just kidding!
Does anyone else out there have ridiculously messy workspaces, or am I alone??

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Forever Fear

I've noticed something about myself recently.

I'm a commitment-phobe.
And I don't just mean with my relationships. Although that's a definite problem, too.

Thinking about my day-to-day, I've realized:

1. I don't have MUST-SEE-TV. I have 2 shows I love but I always miss them. Why? Because there's always something else going on and I can't make myself sit at home for any length of time to watch them. This also means I zone out when everyone is talking about said shows. Not fun.

2. I ALWAYS have at least 3 drinks within arm's reach. Usually water, iced tea, and hot tea. Or coffee. Because what if while I'm drinking my hot tea, I get too warm and I need something cold? How long does it take to finish a drink and move on to the next? Not long. And yet I can't handle it.

3. I have about 4 books I'm currently reading. I always have another option. This is an expensive habit. Perhaps I should think about that library card...

4. I have yet to make it past a second date without getting that twitchy, panicky feeling. What if there's someone better out there, someone with more in common with me? As of late, I've actually had my pick out of several men and I ran screaming in the opposite direction. Isn't this every girl's dream??? Not mine.

5. I've finished writing one book in my life. My ideas change with the season and although each story has huge potential(in my opinion!), I can't seem to finish writing one without moving on to another which "might" have a better chance of publication. I understand the need for discipline in my writing schedule and for writing down future ideas to leave them simmering on the backburner. I just can't seem to make it happen.

I'm not sure where this fear of commitment came from, but I do know it's something that needs to be rectified. I'll never make it anywhere in life if I'm always shoving away the Eh's before I've attempted to make them Ah's.

I suppose the easiest thing to start with is my drink collection. Today, I vow to finish one whole drink before pouring another! ;)

I want to change my writing habits for good, to focus on one thing at a time to make it the best it can be. I'll deal with the other big stuff later!

So I ask, have any of you dealt with this before? And what did you do to fix it?

Saturday, April 23, 2011

T is for...Tea!

Because tea fixes everything, in my opinion.

Upset stomach?

I highly recommend mint tea. Not only is it yummy, but the peppermint soothes the icky feeling.

Bad day at work?

Pretty much any kind of tea helps with that, but I prefer black tea.

Super hot day outside and need immediate refreshment?

Iced tea. Nuff said.

Can't sleep?

Sleepytime tea. Mmmm yum.

Heading south?

You better specify if you DON'T want sweet tea. Because that's what you're going to get! And it's goooood when made by a true southerner. :) (Shoutout to my special GA friends!)

So the next time you need a beverage of any kind, give it a try! There's something for everyone.

S is for....Shopping!

I'm not your stereotypical girl. I hate Lifetime, despise dresses, and really just can't stand shopping.


I've recently developed an obsession with all things Guess. Shoes and handbags, to be exact. Perhaps this is a problem considering I am also unemployed.

Also? I'm pretty sure Guess is a gateway drug to....

Donations, anyone?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

R is for....

Robert Loggia.

O is for 'Oh my God, it's Robert Loggia'.

I adore Family Guy. It's one of my weird 'things'. I can't sleep if I haven't watched the show from the comfort of my couch(or any couch, really). Yes, strange.
I have a few favorite moments and when I first read about the A to Z challenge, the VERY FIRST THING I thought of was 'R is for Robert Loggia'.
I even wrote it on a post it note so I would not forget to make that my R day post.

So without further adieu...here's some Robert Loggia for ya.

My favorite part of this clip? 'Space'.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Q is for...Quiet

I hate the silence. If it's too quiet, my ears start to ring and I go a little stir crazy. This is especially troublesome given the fact that I live alone.

So usually you will find me with headphones in or the TV on, or sometimes both!
The music in my car will be loud, partly because I love to sing loudly and partly because I can't stand it any other way.

I don't like awkward silences. I need to be having a conversation with whomever I'm sitting with or I just get annoyed. So those friends who call just to call and listen to you breathe over the phone?? Please text me, thanks.

Although I can't concentrate if music is playing while I'm writing, I need to have some kind of background noise which usually means the TV is on low so that there is a constant hum around me. Weird? Perhaps.

This goes hand in hand with white walls. Painted walls, no quiet. I guess it has to do with my personality which is definitely loud.

Anyone else love the noises of the world more than the quiet??

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Because really, procrastination IS evil.

It is my second day off work, I have made my writing station, I have hot tea, sweet tea, chocolate, a notebook and a pen....and I'm ready to write.

But then I realized I had a story that could fit into 2 two genres....one of which is fantasy which I want to write. But I don't want to always write it so...perhaps I'll keep it realistic. But I JUST DON'T KNOW!!!! (whiny tone here)

But then I realized I wasn't wearing the clothes I wanted to wear. So I changed.

But then I realized the show on TV was annoying. So I channel surfed until I found something pleasant, if not distracting.

But then I realized I hadn't uploaded the pictures off my camera in WEEKS! so of course I had to do so. And I just realized I haven't put them on facebook yet. Hmm.

But then I realized I hadn't made a blog entry for P today. So I had to sit here and think of words starting with P.

I came up with procrastination.


Monday, April 18, 2011


I have absolutely no idea what to write about for the letter 'O'.

So I googled 'funny words that start with o' and as I scanned a rather large list, I decided these were most 'me':

oenology-study of wines
oenomancy-divination by studying appearance of wine
oenomania-obsession or craze for wine (er...this is me??)
oenometer-instrument for measuring alcoholic strength of wine
oenophile-one who is fond of or loves wine (me!! This is me!)
oenophobia-fear or hatred of wine
oenopoetic-of, like or pertaining to wine-making

Therefore, I am an oenophiliac?? Rad.

Also, this one is hysterical:

onomancy-divination using a donkey or ass


oose-furry dust that gathers under beds

Who knew there was a word for this besides 'just dust'??

And I love to do this:

osculate-to kiss

Thank goodness o day is over. This was too much for my brain to handle at the moment. Perhaps I'll be better at q.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

N is for...

New Beginnings.

It's been a helluva year for me. 11 is my lucky number so I figured 2011 was going to be my year.

Turns out my strength is being tested pretty much on a daily basis. The bad news? I'm kinda stressed. The good news? I'm much stronger than I originally gave myself credit for.

I've spent this entire year so far trying my hardest to rectify a pretty big problem at work. (Not caused by me, by the way, but that didn't seem to matter in the end)
Friday was the worst of it and I barely had time to breathe between running between buildings and working with the president of the company to figure things out.

And at the end of the day, I heard these words: 'Thanks for all of your hard work this year, but we're going to have to terminate you'.


The worst part of the news was the word 'terminate'. Like I was a bug meant to be squashed beneath one of her alligator stiletto pumps. 'You must die'.
That sort of thing.

I'm broken hearted because after almost 12 years of working there, my coworkers were no longer coworkers. They ARE my family.
I can't imagine going more than a weekend without seeing each and every one of them.


After considering all of the crazy, bad, ridiculous things I've faced this year, I realized something: everything happens for a reason. I've always thought so. But for the first time in my life, I can finally see it for what it really means.

Without getting into too much detail, I can tell you that the ridiculous things I will be facing in the upcoming weeks are happening all at the same time for a REASON.
And I KNOW I will come out on the other side a stronger person.

I'm taking some time for myself for a little while...get my head clear and maybe take advantage of all this writing time I've suddenly received!
It's a blessing in disguise. A new beginning.
And as scary as the situation is, I'm so looking forward to it.

Have any of you dealt with anything you were afraid you'd never make it through and come out stronger on the other side? Tell me about it!

M is for....

Middle Sister wine!!!

Sorry I'm a little behind. My excuse will be under 'N'. :)

For now....it's a wine kind of night and I'm partaking in my newest favorite Chardonnay, Middle Sister!
It's just yummy in all kinds of ways.

What's your favorite wine? Any suggestions? P.S. Keep it cheap! ;)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

L is for....

In case you haven't guessed, L is for London!
I've always wanted to visit. If I ever had a dream vacation in mind, that would be it.
Of course there are plenty of other places I want to see in my lifetime, but London brings to mind so many magical images. Characters, writers, the ultimate in fantasy.
Someday, I vow to go. Maybe soon. Maybe I'll snag myself a British hottie. ;)
Such as...


He wants me. I can tell.

How about you? Is there anywhere you dream of visiting?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

K is for...


Because that's how I feel right now. I spent the past year worrying about my taxes because I had a feeling I would get royally F****d by my ex-husband.
Let's just say he's not the greatest person in the world and he owes me a lot of money among other things....all things I'm expecting to never see again.

So when I FINALLY finished my taxes tonight(yes, I'm a procrastinator, what of it??), I received the best kick ass news ever!!!! Turns out, HE is getting royally F****d this time!!!
Justice, yo.

Also, this post should stand for kissing. Because I like it. And because I'm looking forward to a THIRD date with someone tomorrow night. :) Where I will be kissed.

J is for....JULIE!!

That's me.

And I'm awesome.

I'm sure I've introduced plenty of quirks about myself around here but today I'm going to list completely obscure things...kind of a character sketch of myself, things you wouldn't necessarily need to know about but make me me.

1. I don't bite my nails, but I gnaw my cuticles. Not cute.

2. I can't even look at a picture of a spider without gagging.

3. Everytime I buy a book, I have to buy a bookmark to go along with it but then I promptly lose them.

4. I probably have about 30 journals, most of which have one or two entries and then nothing. My life is scattered.

5. I can't go underwater without holding my nose.

6. I hate post-it notes that are boring original yellow. Give me hot pink.

7. I'm only comfortable taking pictures in a group setting after I've had a few drinks.

8. I cannot read library books.

9. I've been at the same job for 11 1/2 years but I've probably only done about 9 years worth of work. Shh!

10. One of my biggest pet peeves is being reminded to do things I always do or already know I have to get done. Leave. Me. Alone.

And now, for the fun part, ask me anything! I'm pretty open so I'll answer anything.
Happy J Day!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I is for...

Ice cream!

I love ice cream. But I'm kind of picky. Or boring. You choose. My favorites? Chocolate. Haagen Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter. Dean's Moose Tracks. Anything chocolate and peanut butter. Anything with fudge.
My least favorites? Anything with fruit. Blech.

Ice!! I can't drink anything cold without ice. I mean, what's the point, really? And I always order beverages with extra ice so I have something left to chew when I'm done drinking. I hate ice that's too hard to chew. I prefer bagged ice or crushed/crunch ice. Does anyone else know what crunch ice is???

Imagination. Mine might be wild, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I think y'all know what I'm saying. ;)

H is for....


That is all.

Friday, April 8, 2011

G is for GROBAN Love

I have an obsession. This obsession was brought on by complete chance.

While walking through Best Buy one afternoon years and years ago, I noticed an endcap display of some new singer, Josh Groban.

I'd never heard of him, didn't know what kind of music he sang, and didn't find him particularly attractive(because, let's face it, sometimes a sexified man is a total selling point!).
But I shrugged my shoulders and picked up this CD:

And I fell in love(and offically think he's the sexiest man ever. It's the curls. And the voice. ;)

Since then, I have been to see him in concert(best. show. ever.), I'm going again this summer, and I have all of his CDs.
Also, I'm pretty confident that should I have the chance to ever meet him, he would fall instantly in love with me too and know that we should be together forever. And if I'm married when this happens, too bad for my hubby. ;)

I'm not a crazy person. Really! Haha.

There's just something about him that soothes me, no matter how upset I am about anything. In the car, in a bubblebath, while I'm writing(p.s. it's the only music I can listen to that helps me write without distraction)...he's my music soulmate.

Everyone should check him out. You won't be disappointed!



Does anyone else have a strange obsession like this??

Thursday, April 7, 2011

F is for....Fabulous Friends!

Because they are the best anyone could ask for. :)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

E is for...Empty

I have absolutely no brain power today. :(

For some reason, finding something to talk about that starts with the letter E is completely throwing me off.

I do have a couple things to spout off about:

I am EXCITED for the gym tonight!

Work is EVIL.

It makes me lose all of my ENERGY.

And sometimes I would like to close my office door and make EVERYONE leave me alone.


Keep your fingers crossed that F provides me with an excellent topic!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

D is for Disturbing

This was in the dumpster outside my apartment this weekend. I'm pretty sure it escaped and is now hiding underneath my bed holding a bloodied knife it stole from its previous owners who clearly hated it seeing as how it is missing an arm and its leg is cracked off.


Anyone else have a creepy scenario for this demonic doll??