Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Yeesh!




It has been SO long, I'm not even sure where to start!

So I'll just dive in. I won't bother apologizing for my absence-I feel like that's all I do anymore and you can only say sorry so many times before people start giving up on you.

This post isn't about my writing. It isn't about anything that is inspiring me right now.
It's about loss and acceptance and moving on.
No one has died. But someone is missing. That someone is me.
A lot has happened in a very short time in my life, a lot of little things that are leading up to one huge thing and I'm finding that I have to take a step back and really put things in perspective.

I'm trying to prioritize, to figure out where "I" fit into my own life.

For months, I've been agonizing over telling the right story, over scenes in someone else's life, wondering why nothing was falling into place.
Writing used to be my escape from the real world...but when the real world became overwhelming and built a wall directly in front of my face, I realized that the reason my stories weren't working for me was because I wasn't working for me.

Somewhere along the way, I lost myself in a tangle of confusion, hurt, and betrayal. My eyes have been opened and the scene before me is a heaping pile of rubble that I have to somehow sort through and nothing right now makes sense.

Writing someone else's story has become a burden, a chore. So I'm focusing on myself, writing my own story, to figure out where I went wrong and to find the ladder that will pull me from this awful abyss.
Even reading provides little relief as I work to sort through the mess in my mind.

I don't plan on posting regularly, but I'm going to try to be around more often. This blog has been an inspiration-proof that there are others out there just like me. Strangers that I consider friends.

To all of my followers: I do sincerely apologize for not being around, but I am so thankful that you are still here.

Any words of encouragement are appreciated, any advice welcomed. Maybe a funny story here and there?? :)

And I promise to check in, to show my face on your blogs as often as I can, and to post here, even if it's just to let you all know that I'm alive and well.

I'm confident that when things start to turn around, I will be back and better than ever. It is the light at the end of this very dark tunnel. The good news is that I can see it! I'm almost there.

Thank you again.

I hope everyone is doing well!

8 comments:

  1. Julie ~ I'm not going to even pretend like I know what's going on in your life, but I wanted you to know I'm here to give you all the encouragement you can stand! Whatever is going on...you can persevere. If you need someone to lean on...we're all here to be that for you.

    And because I believe humor goes a long way in seeing people through difficult times, I'm going to answer your request for a funny story. :) This is actually a joke.

    Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

    Hellloooo,...........just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

    So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

    Helllooooo? It's been a year, I told him!

    There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.

    He never called back.

    I bet he felt like an idiot.

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  2. Sometimes the best stories, are our own...

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  3. *Hugs* I have no idea what kind of things you are going through right now, but you know that you have been missed around here.

    I've been through some rough times over the past few years. Sometimes it felt like smiling would be impossible. But I've learned to look at each and every day as a gift, and to not put off things that I really want out of life anymore. Sure, there are some things I still want to do, but I had to prioritize things. But at least I've found comfort that I'm heading in the direction I want to go. Take one day at a time and time will make things better.

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  4. You need to take care of yourself and let things get settled. Real life and YOU always come first. Always.

    I thoroughly enjoy visiting you and hearing about you and your stories, but my goodness, Julie, it's all about fun. This should never cause stress or pressure.

    Relax - watch a sappy chick flick -- love Miss Congeniality for relaxation :) Although for me Firefly/Serenity & Lord of the Rings & Star Trek offer me the most relaxation. Yup, I'm a little different :)

    Take care.

    DL - love the joke!

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  5. You should never apologize for taking the time you need. Everyone in the blogosphere understands this. (Okay, most people, anyway.)

    Do what you must, good lady. We'll still be around when you return.

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  6. Yes indeed, we are all still here. Hopefully things can settle down a bit and you can enter cruise control soon. In the mean time, don't feel pressures, just post us when you want and have a chance.

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  7. I think that's such a smart decision to take time for yourself and prioritize where you stand in your own life. We can all relate, believe me! Sometimes it's like a game - how much can you balance before stuff starts slipping from your hands? What should be sacrificed first? Hoping you find your balance and that writing once again becomes an outlet for you :) We're all here for ya, girl!

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  8. Thanks so much for your support, everyone!
    DL-the story cracked me up! Especially being blonde myself... :)

    And Candyland...you may have just saved me....

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