Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas! or I Need A Happy Pill

Two posts in one week! Merry Christmas, everyone! Haha.
It's been awesome meeting so many people through the Be Jolly By Golly Blogfest and I still haven't finished going through them all! It's part of my Sunday plan.

I'm writing today for two reasons:

1. It's Christmas and I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend full of love, magic, and surprises.

2. My father.

Today is the third anniversary of my dad's death. I've kind of been a nervous wreck all day today and I thought it would help me feel a little better if I wrote it down.

Without sharing all of the dirty details, I'll just say that the loss of my father has made me see the entire world differently. By the end of his life, we weren't close and I was lucky to see him on Christmas Eve each year. I was so hurt by the path he chose for himself, I wished for nothing but his unhappiness. I never wanted to see him again and I'm ashamed to admit that I once said I wouldn't be bothered if he died.

And then he did.

My whole world turned upside down when I got the phone call. I guess we're all one phone call from our knees, right? (Yes, I stole that. :)

For years, I knew I had wanted to write a story that centered on my father's life. I had something to say and I was going to say it. I've been trying to come up with the perfect plot ever since.
My story for NaNo was the first time I had really delved into any sort of decent plotline and now that it's over, I have a million ideas to make it even better.

I may not be over his death yet, but losing my father has certainly helped me find a part of myself. His choices have made me stronger and have pushed me to realize my dream.
He is my inspiration and for that, I am grateful. I look forward to a new year of writing and discovering myself and what I am capable of. Hopefully you'll all be able to read his story very soon.

Sorry for the somber tone of what was originally going to be an upbeat post! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!


  1. I'm so sorry about your past loss. You made me all teary-eyed. So awesome to have a Nano centered around him. That is beautiful!

    Lucky for you, the blogs are slowing down so you wont have too much to do on Sunday!

    Merry Christmas Julie!

  2. Girl...I'm SO sorry. I know (sort of) where you're coming from. It was three years ago for me, too, I found out my dad (bio) had passed from cancer in 2004 and no one told me. It's a long story with ridiculous detours that has left me in a constant state of soul searching.

    But I'll tell you this: I know him, and myself better now in his death, than I ever did in his life.

    I'm thinking of you this holiday season.

  3. I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose your dad - I lost mine over a decade ago and I feel his loss every day. I hope you can treasure the good memories and the good parts of him that are reflected in you. Take care.

  4. I'm so sorry about your dad, Julie. I'm so happy for you that he is your inspiration and that writing helps you not only to keep him in your heart, but to reduce the pain and remember the happiness. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.