Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Facing the Fear


I read a post the other day that seemed to hit home moreso than any other post I've read in a while. Here's the original post.

If you don't want to click on the link, I'll just tell you that the entry is about 'coming out of the closet'. To be a successful author anymore, you can't just submit a manuscript and collect payment. You have to build up a network, expose yourself to the world...to anyone who will listen.
And everyone knows that writing is extremely personal.

I have no trouble at all proclaiming my desire to be a published writer. When talking to friends and even sometimes strangers, I have no problem changing my job title from 'biller for a car dealership and I hate my job' to 'writer'.
But when they ask, 'What are you working on?', I wave off the question with a casual, 'Oh, nothing. Just a fiction novel'.

When in fact, it's so much more. It's my life. It's my passion. My dream that I'm trying my hardest to realize.
Why do I try to pass it off as nothing? My little sister is an amazing artist with oodles of money-making potential and she has no problem displaying her work for all the world to see.
But I shut myself away and hope that people forget I ever said I was a writer.

What, I ask, is up with that!?

Sharing such a huge part of my soul is a scary thing, but I know that it is something I must do.
That is why I started this blog.

I knew I needed to get myself out there, find some support, people to follow me. So I did.
Then the other day, I opened my email and there were comments, COMMENTS! from people, perfect strangers who took the time to read something I wrote. I felt my cheeks burning as I read, both from embarrassment that someone actually took notice and from the adrenaline rush I got from realizing this.
It was a strange feeling, scary and liberating all at once.
And when I logged onto blogger and saw that I had followers, FOLLOWERS!!!! I almost cried.
What an awesome feeling, to share something so personal with other people going through the same things.

Hopefully this will help me overcome my fear of 'outing' myself. It's working so far, and I've gone so far as to include my blog in my email signature, getting my name out to friends, family, and business associates.
And the next time someone asks me what I'm working on, I'm going to try to show a little more enthusiasm for the work I love and yours truly.

Thanks for reading!

6 comments:

  1. I know exactly which post you are referring to, and it also made me want to "out" myself. I've been bolder about telling people I write, but I'm still a little hesitant. That's why I love this blogging community of writers who can share in both my successes and failures.

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  2. I have only been working on my book for about a month now, so nobody around here other than my husband knows what I'm doing. I actually dread having to tell people that I know well what I'm doing because, well, nobody writes books around here. I know that I'll get the crazy look from them. This is another reason I just started my blog...writers are very supportive of other writers.

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  3. I just joined your blog, and then afterwards realized that you have my fabulous writing partners on your blog list. Major cool points to you!

    (** Please note that cool points have no redeemable or cash value)

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  4. Gosh yes. Blogging is HARD at first. It's like moving to a new school and trying to figure out which lunch table will be the least painful to sit at. But it does get easier, and writing bloggers really are the nicest people.

    Good luck to you!

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  5. Sending all the cyber support possible!!! Keep at it! You know you can! And you deserve it.

    Cheers - your newest follower and fellow wannabe writer - Holli in Ghana

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  6. Great post, I think we all go through that at some time or another. Bravo on realizing it sooner, rather than later. I have found that my blog is most helpful to me and this journey of being 'just a writer', can't wait to share with yoU!

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