Friday, December 16, 2011

The Deja Vu Blogfest!


Today is the Deja Vu Blogfest, in which everyone participating has to choose a former post to REpost.  Check out all the entries, there are TONS!

The following is a post I wrote last year when I was at my worst(at THAT point...yeah).  I was going through a horrible time and my friends here were such a huge help.  I love you all for everything you've ever said or done....you're all an inspiration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5-12-10

For the Love of....!!!!


Everyone has heard that love conquers all.

And for a while now, I've strongly doubted that. In fact, I've scoffed at the very thought.
But very recently, I made a discovery: Love truly does conquer all. All doubt, all pain, all anger....it will all vanish if true love is there.

When I say this, however, I do not mean that love for someone else will conquer all of the darkness that hurt and betrayal leave behind. Because how can you love someone else before you learn to truly love yourself?

You can't.

I've been going through such a dark period of my life lately...darker than any other I've faced before.
I've given up the two things I love the most in my life: writing and reading. Because taking part in either activity left my brain boggled and my heart aching. I stopped feeling for these things and I knew it wasn't right.
How can the things I love the most leave me so stressed out?

I couldn't concentrate on fiction because I couldn't relate to it anymore. I had so much going on, so much tension in this very real world, the land of make believe no longer held the magic it once had.

The last time I posted here, one person said something that really made me think.

Candace at Candyland left a comment that stated, 'Sometimes the best stories are our own'.

It's not like I haven't heard that before. But when I saw it written before me, in response to everything I had poured into that one post, something clicked.

I was going about my healing process the wrong way. I couldn't use my current WIPs to get me through this. I couldn't escape into a book the way I used to because I couldn't relate.
You must write the story you wish to read.

And what more could I want to read than the outcome of my current situation? What would help me more than writing through my troubles?

Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Because writing is what I am. It's not just a hobby. It's a way of life. A lifeline.
And I finally grabbed hold of that rope. And I'm pulling myself out of the ravine, one word at a time.

Things won't get better as quickly as I'd like. But they will get better. And thanks to one person who helped me open my eyes, I'm going to get there the only way I know how.

I'm sure you're wondering how this ties into love conquering all. Writing is my one true love. It will always be there, will always be a part of me. Writing is a way of loving myself.
It's not selfish. It's self love. And you must must must have self love in order to make it through life happily.

I still doubt the notion that love will conquer all when used in reference to a romantic relationship or an outside relationship at all. There's always going to be dealbreakers.
But love for yourself absolutely will conquer all. Because I love myself, because I am taking the time to do what is right for me, I know that I will come out of this mess a much better person.

I don't plan on trying to publish what I'm working on right now because it's for me, but at least it will give me practice!

I'm slowly but surely making my way back into the blogging world. I don't feel overwhelmed anymore. Thank you to everyone who left a kind comment, to everyone who paused to think of me,even for a second. Your support means the world!

Until next time...



13 comments:

  1. Writing is a way of life for me too, so I totally hear you.

    Thanks so much for joining the Blogfest!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow...I was in this VERY SAME PLACE not that long ago. *super squishy hugs* You are an inspiration <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. I remember this. It's amazing how helpful this incredible community of writers can be!

    ReplyDelete
  4. What an insightful post. It sounds like you're in a much better place now. I also love the support I find in this community. Pretty awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I so love this post. I have been there, several times in my writing life. I keep coming back though, because not writing is like not breathing

    ReplyDelete
  6. Excellent post. I get in those funks too with my writing, especially my current project, and I just have to remind myself that it's okay that this one is just for me. And I love the line about writing not being selfish, but self love. Awesome.

    Nice to meet you through the blog fest!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great (re)post! Writing is the same for me--the way I get through life, the way I cope when nothing else works. I understand how you have to keep doing it no matter what! Nice to meet you, Julie!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Julie. I wish I had read this when you originally posted it. The last 2 years for me have been 'challenging' to say the least and writing has been a type of salvation in many ways. Writing for yourself can not only be a very therapeutic exercise - you may find the insights/lessons learnt may be very beneficial to others as well. I am so pleased to hear that things are looking brighter (for me also). I look forward to following your future posts with great interest. And once again - what we may think is only relevant to ourselves - may be the missing link another person has been searching for. Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Julie, I didn't realize you were back in the blogging world again and was so pleased when I realized who this was when I clicked on the link. This was such a perfect post for the blogfest, and I'm really REALLY to see you back! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm a new follower visiting from the DejaVu Blogfest. Nice to meet you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you, everyone! I'm so happy to meet my new followers and I'm headed over to you right now.
    I'm so happy to be back. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Bill collectors are always bothering me. Now, I have a new response. "Love will take care of it." ;} I am actually not a very good writer - words grasped, easily slip through my fingers. This is a new experience...reading about passionate writers. I love to read; so, I am very thankful for you all. Let's see-eee, words are my 'voice' because I often 'say' very little.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am just getting around to read some of the deja-vu posts and I´m glad I finally read yours. Writing can be a therapeutic tool, a get-to-know-yourself better and get-out-of-the-hole wonder :-)
    Best of luck to you!

    ReplyDelete