Overcoming Fear

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

I had some trouble coming up with a topic for today's post...not because I don't have anything writing related to talk about, but because I just don't know where I stand with my writing at the moment.

It took a while to realize what my issue is, and then it hit me...fear.  I've discussed it before and received incredible encouragement from everyone here, but the fact remains:  I am afraid.

I don't doubt my writing-sometimes even the bad days read pretty well when I go back with a fresh eye.  It's more of an 'I'm terrified of the rest of the world reading into my soul' type thing.  I'm afraid of that rejection.

I've had something on my mind for months now, but I knew it would require action on my part in order for anything to come of it.  But as outgoing as I am, there are just some things I can never make myself do because I'm too afraid of the outcome.  In order to protect myself from the worst, I push away any hope for the best.

Two weeks ago, I made a decision.  Life is way too short to be so afraid of the possibility of happiness.  This past Friday, I shoved my fear aside, acted before I could talk myself out of it...and succeeded.  I haven't felt so amazing in YEARS.  I can't stop smiling! 

In my opinion, writing should be this way, too.  What do I have to fear?  If I keep holding myself back, I will never know if I have what it takes to conquer such a silly little thing(in the big scheme of things).
This must change. 
From here on out, I vow to be more confident in my writing and in myself.  There is nothing to fear in a blank page, a full imagination, and a story to tell. 
See that word count on the right side of the screen?  That number is going to go up.  And someday, you will all get to see into my soul...

What do you have to do in order to overcome your fears? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAY I Share Something Funny?

Thanks for the comments on yesterday's post about my sister!  It must have been good because she received a phone call for her first special order!
Not only does this mean she's making money doing something she loves, it also means I get to tag along on a road trip to find the subject of the assignment! 

Today, I'm going to share a few things that crack me up.  I'm easily amused, so I hope you're not rolling your eyes *too* much at what I'm going to post!

I don't know about you, but I cannot stop laughing everytime I read this

I love this chick.  And this video?  YES.  Wait, only me??

And from my Pinterest...

This was the funnest post.  I laughed.  A lot.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

MAY I Tell You Something About Someone Else?

In which I gush about the people who mean the most to me!  There are so many people I'd love to praise, but I'm going to start with one special person(who has nothing to do with writing but a lot to do with inspiration).

Meet Jacki Kuiken, my little sister:



Jacki is a true artist.  She's a photographer, a floral designer, a sketch artist, and so much more.  She's also my best friend, and I want nothing but happiness and success for her! 

Plus I know that someday she'll enjoy reading my books, so she's way more awesome than I'm letting on.  ;)

Anyway...I posted one of her photos on my Monday post, but I'd like to link back to her website here so you can all see this beautiful world through her talented eyes. 

If you're not in the mood to check it out, maybe this will convince you:

See??  Girl's got talent.  Don't these make you want to go outside and find your own inspiration? 

Go ahead, boost her ego!  :)

I hope you enjoyed meeting Jacki...I'm happy to introduce her!

MAY I Ask Something About You?

Happy Wednesday, everyone! 

Today, I get to ask YOU some questions!

Tell me, fellow writers...

What are you writing right now and why?  Did something inspire you?  Have you been trying to get a certain story down on paper for some time now?  Why did you choose to write this particular story?

I'd love to know!

MAY I Tell You Something About Myself?

Welp.  I'm already behind!  Leave it to me to post a Monday post on a Tuesday lol.

Since it's TUESDAY, I'll have to catch up and tell you all some things about myself.  I'm going to copycat some other bloggers out there and do an A-Z post, since I missed out on April's blogfest because I'm lazy.  And old.  (24 is old.)
(I'm not really 24.)

A is for age: HA!  As I said...I'm not 24.  I am, in fact, 25.  Plus 6.  But still awesome.

B is for breakfast today: I suck at breakfast.  Who has time for breakfast?  I'm running out the door and hoping that I remembered to put on my pants.  Seriously.

C is for currently craving: The avocado, fresh mozzarella cheese, and tomato salad I made for my lunch tomorrow.  YUM.

D is for dinner tonight: Popcorn and wine in my bed.  Yup.

E is for favorite type of exercise: Running and dancing!  I lose myself in a good run just as much as I do in my writing, if not more.  And dancing is so. Much. Fun.

F is for an irrational fear:  Being raped and/or murdered everywhere.  Outside.  In my bedroom.  In the shower.  It's a problem.  I read too much.

G is for gross food: Peas. Hork

H is for hometown: Born and raised in Calumet City, Illinois.  I still love going back even though most of it has changed for the worse...

I is for something important: My friends and family.  I do not want to know the person I would be without them.

J is for current favorite jam: Say It Again by Mariah McManus

I absolutely adore this song and this video.  Also, it makes me think of someone....

K is for kids: Um...nope?  Although I've made the decision that if I'm still single by the time I'm 35, I'm doing it on my own.  Not afraid.  I'll be all Gilmore Girl.  ;)

L is for current location: My bed.  Which is also my office.  Rad. 

M is for the most recent way you spent money: Paying too much for gas! 

N is for something you need: MONEY.  Like, lots of it.  Money might not buy happiness, but it does buy books and that's pretty much the same thing.  Wait a sec....have I stolen that from Pinterest??  Probably.

O is for occupation: Writer.  First and foremost.  But during the day I do billing for a Honda dealership.  Bah.

P is for pet peeve: Poor grammar.  Poor spelling.  People who chew with their mouths open and chomp on potato chips.  Traffic.  People who complain and don't do anything to rectify their situation.  Men.  ;)  Just kidding...kind of.

Q is for a quote: "Don't wait, just let your heart speak.  Don't waste another heartbeat.  Because you'll never know, until you let it out.  Say it now"  -The Afters

R is for random fact about you: I'm a lefty.  Which makes life extremely difficult.  And people complain.

S is for favorite healthy snack: Almonds!  Raw almonds.  Holy crap, they are delicious!

T is for favorite treat: Peanut Butter Cup Perfection ice cream from Coldstone.  Drool...

U is for something that makes you unique: Oh, man.  Unique doesn't begin to describe me.  Where do I begin?...

 

V is for favorite vegetable: Spinach!  It used to make me gag as a child.  Now I luuuurrrrve it.

W is for today’s workout: Running around the dealership trying to get men to fix their stupid mistakes. For 13 hours. 

X is for X-rays you’ve had: After my car accident when I was 16.  Not my best night.

Y is for yesterday’s highlight: Driving past Denny's...this has no meaning to any of you.  ;)  Also, going to bed. Because I needed it so.

I don't know what happened to Z.

Hey hey hey, it's MAY!

...And today starts the Blog Me MAYbe blogfest!  Click on the linky over there ----> to check out what it's all about and get to know some amazing writers!

Basically, I have to blog every single (week)day for the entire month of May.  Yikes!  I'm giving it my best shot, so I hope you're ready!  :)

Mondays are writing related, so I'll just come right out and say it:

I need to do better.
I've used the 'I'm too exhausted' excuse for almost two months now, since I started my new job.  And yes, it's very true(I just got home from a 15 hour day and my eyeballs are floating somewhere up around my ceiling lights...), but it seems to me that this isn't going to change anytime soon.
Therefore, I must change in order to make it work.

All around the blogosphere, on Twitter, and even on Facebook, my writing friends are sharing their success stories and I soak them in, envious to the tips of my toes, and SO SO proud of the things they are all accomplishing.  I know that I will join them one day, hopefully soon, but I need to push myself to get it done.
And I will! 

Writing is my world; it is the one constant in my life, the only thing that makes me feel like ME, no matter what else is happening.
Creating life from a spark of my imagination is the only true magic I've ever known, and I know I'm blessed to have been given this gift.
These characters deserve a chance to tell their stories and they need me to write them down.
How do I argue with that? 

Starting next Monday, I hope to share with you my journey through my current projects and I hope you enjoy walking along with me! Everything is better with friends.

Are any of you struggling with making time to write lately?  Tell me, please!  Perhaps we can struggle together.  :)

Here's to a blog-filled May!

I Have Nothing To Say

A couple weeks ago, a friend so kindly reminded me that it had been a while since I last posted.
I know.

I know.

And here I am, with nothing to say because holy balls, I am exhausted.

I missed a blog fest that I was very much looking forward to participating in because it was about crushes which meant I would be able to write about boys and my crushes and God knows I've had more than my share of those in this lifetime. 
But alas...I suck.

Here's what's been going on.

I got a job.

Wheeeeeeee!

This is huge mainly because I've been unemployed for a year now, and I'm very poor.  And now?  I'm still poor but employed and managing to pay my rent so that I don't have to move into a refrigerator box.
Here's what's awesome about my job:

1. I'm allowed to say the F word as often and as loudly as I like.  Not only is this allowed, it is encouraged and cheered.  And I?  Have a potty mouth.  Yay for the F word!

2. The owner sought me out to meet me and called me one of his daughters.  This has never happened to me before.  This is not what I am used to.  This is awesome.

3.  Boys.  They are everywhere, and they dominate the business.  Which is awesome since pretty much the only daily access to boys I've had in a year has been on TV shows and let's face it-Damon and Stefan probably won't be showing up at my door anytime soon.

Hey, look!  I got to talk about boys after all!  ;)

Things that suck about my job:

1.  Traffic.  TRAFFIC.  To and from, an hour each way at least.  And I'm only twenty minutes away!

Let me tell you about traffic.  Traffic is a lot like football.  Something that should take ten minutes is guaranteed to turn into a full hour.  But while football can sometimes be edge-of-your-seat, the only exciting part of my drive is that dude over there, analyzing the booger he just picked.  Who picks their nose in traffic??  People can see you, even if you're not looking.  Duh.

Oh, and you, the asshat behind me.  I'd feel much better if I could see your freaking headlights so I know they're not about to ram up my ass.

Then there's those people who see a fender bender and get all 'OMG, did you SEE the size of that dent?  It's like the size of my PINKIE finger!  Let's slow down so we can get a better look because by golly, it's the apocalypse'.

And the fender benders happen because of the asshats who stop so close to the car in front of them that their headlights are no longer visible. 

These people probably stop too close because they're too busy analyzing their own snot rockets to realize they should hit the brakes before their four door sedan becomes an accordian.

Needless to say, my Happy Friday mood tends to sour the second I pull onto the on-ramp.

And that is the worst thing about my job.

Then I come home, change for the gym, go sweat out my bad mood for about an hour and a half, shower off the sweat from said bad mood, scarf down a hastily made dinner, and make it to my laptop about five minutes before I pass out.

How did I have a job and function before???

Now let's add in the time I need to get some writing done so that someday I no longer have to sit in traffic and watch other people eat their nose greens.

Heh.

Once upon a time...

Apologies for this post about nonsense.  Yay F word!